VirtCamp Day One

What I wrote last night...

In many ways this feels like home. It feels like what I’ve prepared for nearly my entire life: PLATO as a kid, PASS, IPL MOO, NovaNET and notesfiles, live journal, what I do now at Misys, drama, dance, photography, I could go on. It’s as if I’ve been part of a huge community of practice for years and just didn’t have a label for it.

On the other hand, I wonder what this means in terms of a personal transformation?

I can’t see that this program would cause me to stop believing in the value of these things… so where will a transformation take me? What is the next level or layer? I think the thing that I need to watch out for is a sense that I somehow am already “there.” Maybe being “open to the process” is actually harder when you already think (assume) that you not only understand the process but use it as well. I need to figure out where this is supposed to take me, rather than how it validates where I think I already am.

The one thing I’m concerned about is that I don’t have a clear vision of where to go with the ARP… (ok… it should be about the process… but the process in what context)… And – why am I already so convinced that setting the ARP in the Misys Client Ed environment would be so likely to fail. Do I really have such a lack of confidence in my team members at work? Do I lack confidence in my ability to bring them into this in some way. Am I afraid that they will cause me to “fail?” Hmmmm… really do need to think about that. I may still decide to center the ARP in some context other than Misys but I should have a clear vision of why I want another context and not why I don’t want the Misys context.

I also really have to work on not trying to dominate each project or conversation – ok – that’s a life issue not just a graduate school issue.

And – I do hope there are sheets and a pillow waiting for me back in the apt.