Life happens and sometimes it's good

It's raining! I love rain in the desert. It makes everything look, feel, and smell completely different. I love the way the rain sounds on the roof and on the tin roof of the carport. The lightening and thunder energize me (although they do mean that I have to turn off and unplug the computer, modem, etc. very soon).

It seems appropriate that the first really heavy, citywide rain of the season should occur tonight. Rain changes the desert's point of view. Like when you look at an object from the side and then from head on, it can appear completely different. It is appropriate because I've undergone a similar change (in point of view). For several weeks now, as the reality of grad school approached, I have felt an increase in apprehension. At first I wasn't sure what it was. Then I realized that I was afraid of approaching my co-workers with the idea of participating in my ARP. I had not even organized my ideas enough to know specifically what I want to research but I was already feeling like I would have to keep it separate from my workplace. I didn't think they would be open to it.

Today - my whole point of view changed - as if I had been looking at the situation from the side and then suddenly walked around to the front. Or maybe as if I was looking at a Monet painting too closely, only seeing the little dots of paint, and then stepped back and suddenly saw the whole picture. After telling a couple of my co-workers a little about the adventure that was VirtCamp it became obvious that my enthusiasm could be contagious. Suddenly (as in a real light-bulb over the head moment) I realized that rather than think of having to convince them to 'help me' with this project I need to bring them along on the journey with me. I want to help them. I want to see them get even a fraction as excited as I am. This is the approach that I was missing. For the first time since I discovered the program at Pepperdine and decided that it was my number one choice, I'm feeling as excited about what this will bring to my team at work as I am about the program itself. It might be silly, or egocentric, but the storm tonight feels like the universe telling me that I'm on the right track.

And - in other exciting news... I may have found a house. Hopefully I'll be putting an offer on it tomorrow. Yes - I'm crazy enough to think that I can start graduate school and buy my first house all in the same couple of months. I can't help but wonder if this will be a lesson in being thankful, a lesson in letting go, or something else entirely. I guess we'll wait and see. One thing is for sure, it will be another amazing journey... I think Mike D. blessed and cursed me when he gave me that Journey kanji. :) Most of the time though, it is a blessing.