Perspective

Perspective... we all need a dose of it now and then... more than we think.

I went to my friend's 50th birthday party tonight. Nice to get out of the house for a while. Nice to dress up in something other than "work clothes," "performance costumes," "workout clothes," or "hanging out at home doing homework clothes." I almost forgot what it was like to put on nice fancy clothes, some non-stage make-up, some real (rather than costume) jewelry, and spend time with adults who aren't talking about work or school.

I saw my other friend and her husband there. I haven't seen them for a bit over a year (since she sold her share of the restaurant where I perform... since the holidays right after that when we all walked Winterhaven to look at the lovely lights). She just became a citizen of the US not too long ago. We talked of her and her husbands business, children, and the family that is still in Baghdad. I asked how they were, almost fearing the answer. They are "surviving," as she said.
We hear all these stories, watch and read all this news, and think that we have access to all the information and that we know what is happening. We don't. To hear it from the perspective of someone who lives there, was born there and lives there, is not a soldier from another country, is not a member of the press, is not a member (or wannabe member) of the new government, is not a member of some insurrectionist group, is not a foreigner trying to help, but is just a "normal" person who is trying to live in their home town -- that is when you hear what maybe the most real story.

They are surviving. They have phones most of the time and so they can keep in touch with their family (my friends). They have electricity about 1 hour every 24 to 48 hours (and this is right in the city of Baghdad... this is not out in the country or in one of the more "dangerous" areas)... sometimes they have electricity for 2 hrs. Some nights, they don't sleep at all because of all the shooting and explosions. They go out only when they absolutely have to (fortunately my friend and her husband are able to send their family some food and supplies and most of it gets to them so far). The don't stay in only because of the shooting and explosions... they don't stay in because they are afraid of the soldiers either. They stay in because those who live there but have family living elsewhere are now in constant danger of being kidnapped and held for ransom. A friend of my friend recently had to come up with over $100,000.00 to pay for his brother's ransom so that his brother would not be killed. Another friend of my friend didn't have enough $$, couldn't get enough $$, and so his cousin was killed by the kidnappers because the ransom didn't' come. It is very dangerous there now, for everyone who is left. No one is safe.

The irony is that while everyone knew Saddam was bad, while he was in power those who lived there knew whether or not they were safe (my friends of course were not... that is why they are here in the US... they came her long before 9/11 to escape the danger that was there for them). But - you knew if you were in danger or not... and you knew in general what kind of danger you were in.... and some who were in danger could escape (like my friends... and like my other friend who is from Kuwait... who came here to care for his sister's children because she died from the chemicals that Saddam attacked the Kuwaities with). So yes... Saddam was a very bad man and many people were in grave danger, many people were persecuted, tortured, and killed when he was in power. Yes... it is a good thing that he is no longer in power. BUT - what we don't hear, what we are not told, what we may not understand, is that now that he is gone... EVERYONE there is in danger... and no one knows for sure where the danger will come from and when it will strike, so everyone is scared all the time. The media that we are privy too makes it seem like it is about whether one is Sunnis or Shia... but really, it is as much about whether or not there is a perception that someone in your family has money for which you might be ransomed.

We are so blessed and so sheltered here in so many ways... right down to the news that is provided for us. You have to work to find the other perspectives... we may be free... our press maybe free... we may, theoretically, have access to whatever information we want... but that information from all perspectives is not provided to us in an obvious way... even if we make an effort to listen to something other than the Morning and/or Evening news... even if we watch the Daily Show... even if we listen to NPR and read the New York Times... we need to dig deeper... with the freedom that we have comes a responsibility to find out what is really going one. With this freedom comes a responsibility to ASK QUESTIONS. It isn't as simple as "believe" or "don't believe" what you are told, what you read, what you see on teevee. You have to seek the knowledge out... and when you find it you have to ask more questions. The more opportunity you have, the more responsibility you have to take advantage of that opportunity. I think we forget that... I know I forget it sometimes.

I have no profound observations other than that... I just wanted to write it down so that I would not forget.

Digging in the dirt.

I planted flowers today.

Wild flowers for the humming birds, butterflies, and bees in the back yard... Sunflowers in front of the house (S/E corner and S. side).

The soil was soft from days of winter/spring rain, the sun was warm, and the day just asked to be used for planting. There is something rejuvenating and relaxing about digging in the dirt. It is one of the few tasks that truly clears my head from rambling thoughts of all that is right and wrong in the world. As I plant, I imagine myself as this little old yet somehow ageless woman squatting near the ground, preparing the soil, planting the seed, gently covering it back up and soaking it with delicious water. In my head, I plan the vegetable and herb garden that I will plant next year. I wanted to plant one this year but realized that between school and work, I would not have the time necessary to seed, nurture, and harvest - so that garden waits for me still.

Next comes the anticipation... days or weeks of waiting for the seedlings to show their first fragile shoots and leaves above the soil line... And just when you think some clever bird must have found all you precious seeds, a small bit of green peeks out of the ground and turns itself toward the sun.

I hope that the sunflowers thrive where I placed them. I imagine what the corner of my little house will look like dappled with their lovely yellow faces turning to watch the sun. It is odd - my favorite colors used to purple, burgundy, and green - they still are among my favorites, but each year Yellow and Orange move closer to the top of the list.

Means without End

Yoga is my sanctum (one of many in fact). Bikram yoga is my current yoga of choice - I like the heat, I like the flow and the meditative nature of doing the same set of poses over and over again, and (most important) I love the community and instructors at the Bikram studio I belong to. Ironic since I don't currently hold a great deal of respect for Bikram the man - his actions in the last year or two seem in direct opposition to the nature of yoga.

I've been practicing yoga of one form or another for years now, so sometimes I take it's depth a bit for granted. The physical lessons are obvious and tangible, but I forget the connection between that and the life lessons it also teaches.

Tonight was my first night back after several weeks. I was sick before FETC and so took some time off from the studio (as much to not bring my sickness to others as to let my body recover). Then, I was out of town and completely caught up in all that was OMET at FETC. I returned home only to succumb to yet another nasty virus (flu this time). So - nearly four weeks without a visit to the studio (I kept up my hatha practice at home when I was feeling up to it). It seems that whenever I take time away from something (yoga is only one example) - it return to it with the eyes of a beginner and learn many lessons anew.

Tonight I remembered and learned (again) one of my favorite lessons from yoga. It isn't the End that justifies the Means, it is the Means that justify the End... and more importantly ... the Means can stand on their own, they don't need an End to justify or be justified by.

To put it another way - yoga is one of the best ways I know to truly understand that the important thing isn't "getting there." The important thing is what you do to get there ( wherever "there" might be). The poses teach us this. There is the ideal of the perfect form that we all can't help but keep in our thoughts. As we move our body into each pose, we approach that form in our own way. It is the moving into the pose that is as important (or even more so) than holding the pose itself. If you move into a pose to quickly, you may not set it up right, your energy may not move through the right parts of your body, your muscles and joints may not align in a beneficial way, your breathing my become irregular or forced. So, you must start slow, move deliberately, with mindfulness and attention. You never reach a place where there is nothing left to do - that is why it is called a "practice" and not a "performance." You are always reaching a little more (or less), trying to balance, trying to level your hips or shoulders, trying to expand or contract something else. If I could strike every pose perfectly every time with no preparation or work, then what would be the point? The End isn't the point at all... it is the journey toward it where I grow, evolve, and learn. That is what practice is about.

So - how does this relate to life? If I view my life as a journey (which I do) - then that might seem to imply that there is some destination (perfection) and that my journey is a means to that end (that perfect destination). The lessons of yoga remind me again and again that the journey itself is the destination... that each moment is its own perfection without being an end and that the journey doesn't stop there - it just keeps going. So - maybe I should view life as "a practice" - just as I see yoga that way.

Now - if I could just view traffic that way. :)

The fuzzy head hears things differently

Being sick can have some advantages (although I am quite tired of being sick and quite ready to be healthy again). Everything slows down little and the world seems just slightly off center. Maybe that is why I find the following two quotes some how related.

Ossie Davis died today. NPR did a short little story in his honor and I listened to it twice (laying in bed half asleep, trying to ignore my stuffy head and painful eyes). Ossie Davis (and his wife) was an African-American actor and activist of superior quality. This world was greater because he was part of it. He once said "...we can't float through life, we can't be incidental or accidental. It is the consistency of the pursuit of the highest possible vision that gives you the way to understand where you are and why it is important for you to do what you can do." What an amazing soul to understand that, to speak it, and to live it.

Later - I finally rose from my bed, cleaned up the house a bit, took a shower, did some work (homework and workwork), made some food, and sat down again to rest and breathe. I turned on the tv to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer (don't diss it if you haven't watched it - it is a unique, creative, well written, and well acted show with just the right dash of farce). It was the season one episode where you could only see the monster if you had a very high fever - rather ironic that I should watch that one today. In it Cordelia has one of her famous lines - one where she seems stupid at first but then you realize that she is cleverer than you initially give her credit for. She is accused of being tactless and responds: "Tact is just not saying true stuff."

So, what's the connection? Maybe it's just that I'm fuzzy in the head - but I think that not floating through life, not being incidental or accidental means that sometimes you have to be tactless... you have to say the "true stuff" and let the chips fall.

That's it for now. I'm out.

Initial Thoughts on the Green Brick

Being at home sick provides one with more time to read and yet less ability to focus - so I am appreciative of the summaries provided at the end of each section on "What is Instructional-Design Theory" as well as how these summaries build on each other. I also appreciate that the author of this section acknowledges early on that some decisions (on Instructional-Design) might be best made by the learner while engaged in the actual learning. I find it interesting (but I'm not sure if it is helpful) that the Mr. Reigeluth feels it is necessary to break everything down in to nice, neat, unique little boxes. It makes sense as a way of defining all the elements but as I read it, I feel like I'm missing something holistic (the "big picture) and find that I keep telling myself to give it a chance to come together later.

Given how completely each aspect is separated from another (learning goals vs desired instructional outcomes, instructional-design theory vs instructional-design process, etc) - I find it surprising that at the outset the Reigeluth indicated that "Instructional Theory" and "Instructional-Design Theory" would be used interchangeably "...for the sake of brevity." ( I assume that it was Reigeluth who wrote the Forward for Unit 1, since he is the editor of the book) . I can't help but question whether "Instructional Theory" suggests a "decision oriented theory" while "Instructional-Design Theory" suggests a "design oriented theory" (a distinction that is important in the context of this book, or at least important to Reigeluth in the context of chapter 1). He claims it is because "many people use the term 'instructional theory' with the same meaning as instructional design theory." Given his tone in chapter one and the attention applied to clearly defining what each term does and doesn't mean, I find it out of character that the he would do this.

Finally - the last of the three bullet points at the top of the first page ("Some issues about instructional-design theories that are of interest to researchers and some of interest to practitioners) seems to imply that there are issues that would be of interest to researchers and not to practitioners and vise versa. I can't help but wonder if this dichotomy between the researcher and the practitioner is healthy for educational theories in general. Later in the first chapter, Reigeluth seems to criticize that very attitude. In the section on why instructional-design theory is important, he includes the following quote from Posgrow: "The feeling is widespread in the REAR community that its responsibility is to produce general theory and that it is up to practitioners to figure out how to apply the theory." It is unclear to me whether Posgrow believes this himself or is simply explaining a prevalent opinion within the REAR community. What is clear to me is that Reigeluth recognizes this attitude as one belonging to those who are interested in decision oriented theories (as opposed to design oriented theories) and that he further believes that it is important for researchers such as those in the REAR community to spend more time and energy developing design oriented theories.

So - I'm left wondering... are researchers generally drawn to decision oriented theories? Are practitioners generally drawn to design oriented theories? Is it possible to combine the focus or is it really one or the other? What about the practitioner as researcher?